This is an old story a co-worker related to me. He had a female respondent come in charged with public defecation, which is a (thankfully) pretty rare offense. Even weirder, there was a witness who had agreed to come in and testify against her.
Witness: I'm the head janitor at an elementary school. For the past month we've had a problem with piles of shit appearing on our baseball diamond. It'd be clean at night when I went home, but in the morning I'd come in and there'd be another pile. Finally, I got fed up and decided to hold a stake out to find out who was responsible. So I hid in the bushes with a camera. Sure enough, around midnight she showed up and I caught her! Look at these pictures! I caught her!
The witness' three pictures revealed somewhat-blurry stills of a bag lady. The first shot was her running out on the field, arms and legs frozen in an action pose. The second was of the same lady, pants down around her ankles, squatting on the baseball diamond. The third was another action shot of the respondent running away from a fresh pile left on the pitcher's mound.
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