This is not justice...

My coworker tells a story of a Jamaican man who showed up at 10:00 AM for his 3:00 PM hearing. When the judge told him he had to wait until 3:00 for the police officer to show up, there was an outburst:

Man: Dis is not justice! Dis is sabatoge!

Later on, when his hearing actually happened, the man was accused of having a half-smoked joint in his car. His defense:

Man: If da police is gonna catch me wit marijuana, dey gonna find me wit way more than just one joint. I'm an herbalist! It is my culture!

Yes, this was his defense. My coworker thinks it's a pretty good one, at least compared to what we usually get.